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Obituary: The sad passing of Common Sense


Ross Garner gave us his Viewpoint, garnered (no pun intended) several years ago. The 'obituary' he quoted from reads:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old Common Sense was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

  • knowing when to come in out of the rain
  • why the early bird gets the worm
  • life isn't always fair
  • and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting (adults, not children, are in charge).

The health of Common Sense began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teenagers suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they had themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

His health declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a pupil became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home, and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by:

  • his parents, Truth and Trust
  • his wife, Discretion
  • his daughter, Responsibility, and
  • his son, Reason.

He is survived by his five stepchildren who say:

  • I Know My Rights
  • I Want It Now
  • Someone Else is to Blame
  • I'm A Victim
  • Pay me for Doing Nothing.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised that he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Obituary: The sad passing of Common Sense

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